Mutual inspiration: Marlene Lee gains as much as she gives to trafficking survivors

Originally published in the Missourian on Apr. 22, 2022.

Becky checks her phone; there’s a voicemail from Marlene Lee.

“I just wanted to check and see that you got home OK.”

Lee is a volunteer with the Stop Human Trafficking Coalition of Central Missouri and met Becky four years ago. Becky was abused by her father as an infant and had a childhood filled with abuse. She had joined other survivors to speak on behalf of the coalition, telling her story in hopes of helping others.

“The strength you show after all you’ve been through is really inspiring,” the message says. “And I really loved your speech, and I hope to hear many more of them because they do inspire me.”

Lee has been helping Becky for four years, and they’ve become close friends. Lee has helped many women like Becky over the years.

She ends her message of encouragement: “I sure love you. Bye now.”

Becky, whose name has been changed for this story, knows such support is vital for survivors of sex trafficking.

“One thing I’ve noticed about all of us,” she said, “is our eyes look dead.”

A voicemail from Marlene

Someone ‘to stand up for me’

Becky has a long history of resiliency, and in recent years Lee’s support has made a huge difference.

“She has made me feel a lot better about myself than a lot of people in this world, and she’s just really special and wonderful,” Becky said. “I love her to death.”

Becky’s abuse began right after she was born, when her father would throw her into her crib. At the age of 3, she said, her father started to trade her, and at 5 he was selling her.

“When I got a little older, I always thought that God put me down on Earth to be everybody’s sex toy,” she said.

It wasn’t until a few years ago that she was able to escape safely and found her purpose of helping the coalition. “He must’ve changed his mind last minute before taking me and decided I did have a lot of purpose in my life,” said Becky.

But it was too late to save her from the repercussions caused by a lifetime of physical and emotional abuse.

“I have all kinds of neurological problems. I lose track of things while talking, I have two benign tumors in my brain and neuropathy, which makes me fall a lot,” she said.

Even the name she chose for the Missourian to use for this story is tied to a difficult time in her life. Becky was the name of her daughter, who died shortly after birth.

Becky met Lee in 2018.

“I had neck surgery, and I wasn’t allowed to drive. She started driving me to my therapy appointment every week, and that’s how we really started getting to know each other,” Becky said.

Therapy drives evolved into them grabbing lunch every week. During the pandemic, Lee still showed up to Becky’s house.

“Sometimes on my porch when it was warm enough, we get pizza or something … she was about the only one I saw on a regular basis,” Becky said.

Lee “cares deeply for us survivors; she really does care and she wants to do anything she can to help,” Becky said. “It’s nice that somebody will stand up for me.”

Eyes opened

Lee is an author who has published five books; the first was in 2013 when she was 74. The one she is currently working on is about an 80-year-old woman who knows nothing about sex trafficking and finds out her great-niece is being trafficked.

She spent her career as a court reporter, special education teacher and college instructor. In between, she spent time writing short stories and novels, before switching to writing full time.

“You’re never too old to have your eyes opened,” she said. “There’s every reason to listen to people who are saying things and writing things that you don’t necessarily agree with. You don’t have to be convinced, just listen and let it seep in, and there will be some change.”

Lee’s introduction to the Stop Human Trafficking Coalition of Central Missouri goes back to a fall fundraiser in 2015 when she was among a handful of authors who shared readings from their books that included the theme of freedom. Two years later she approached Nanette Ward, a founding member of the coalition, asking if she could volunteer to drive survivors to appointments or anywhere they needed to go.

Being a driver for the coalition gave Lee a chance to get to know survivors and establish friendships, and really get to experience firsthand the struggles both directly and indirectly related to trafficking. These trips would include medical appointments, counseling, shopping, etc.

One of Becky’s most cherished memories was when she, Ward and Lee shopped online for a mattress. The one she had been sleeping on was her father’s.

“Between three of us, we got me a mattress, and I needed that because I could hardly sleep in that bed. That was my parents’ bed, and I couldn’t, I just couldn’t sleep on that mattress,” Becky said. “That was just such a wonderful thing for her and Nanette to help me.”

Lee noticed that the coalition needed a solution for a transitional shelter. “The survivors who were newly exited needed that immediate safety, that immediate shelter, that immediate sense of security,” Lee said.

She went to Ward and said she wanted to make a donation to buy a house for the survivors. Ward remembers her mouth dropped.

“She gifted us significantly with this cash donation that allowed us to literally go out and buy a house. That was incredible, and it really switched up the coalition’s abilities. It switched up what we had to offer and how we could provide service.”

“It made me feel good because I had gained more than I thought I deserved on a real estate transaction, and I decided I wanted to share some of that,” Lee said.

While the coalition ended up selling the house later, the generosity was carried forward. Selling the house with Lee’s agreement allowed the coalition to hire an independent contractor, who was then able to apply for major grants.

On Sunday afternoons, Lee sponsors a message on KOPN with a weekly program called World Woman that features music from all over. There’s a public service announcement every week with a number to call for help.

“I used to drive around with a card. People who, especially women who are begging on corners for money, I would give them a dollar or two and a card that we have that gives the phone number of our local organization,” Lee said.

Motivation to volunteer

Lee has learned a lot about trafficking, and human nature, since she began her volunteer work.

“Trafficking is an extension of ordinary attitudes that most of us still have about the power of a male-dominant society,” Lee said.

One survivor Lee knows was transported across state lines locked in a truck. She was forced to pee in cans and raped by other truckers at rest stop showers. The survivor was in her 40s and groomed by her boyfriend.

“This terrible, cruel usage of one human being of another just upset me,” she said.

“You can only sell a drug once,” she said, “but you can sell a woman over and over and over again.”

Volunteering at the coalition has shifted Lee’s view on the imbalance of gender relations in society.

“Our society does not make it easy for men and women to have equal, respectful relationships,” she said, “and trafficking is an extreme example of dominance.”